About 10 years ago, Bob and I first learned how to speak to each other’s heart—to take time to listen to the underlying emotions, to learn about the life events that first caused those emotions, to see how those same unresolved wounds were bogging us down today—and then to seek God together for the light He wants to shine on the problem. We always felt that we had a good marriage but until this point, we spent much of our time with each other talking about the business of marriage and family. Speaking to each other’s heart made our relationship immeasurably better.
I was heartened to read a similar conclusion in Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Men Only: Most men think that they should filter out the emotion and listen for the facts. Instead, men need to listen to how their wives feel. We’ll just throw in that we think men also benefit from this intentional, deep listening by their spouse.
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Getting caught up of the business of life and everyday living can be so very easy, especially in today’s fast paced world. If I would have listened to the emotions of my husbands heart he would not have worked at a job that he disliked for 20 years. It took God removing him from his work place for both of us to see how unhappy he was and how we could have fixed that years ago. He has a new job in a field he loves and it has been a great thing for our marriage. Thanks for the reminder to keep looking for those emotions and speaking to my mans heart.