I just read a post on a marriage blog about how to communicate with your spouse. It wasn’t bad advice, but it did cause me to stop and ask what the Bible says about communication in marriage. Help me out if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe the Bible mentions any particular communication techniques—and yet, it is popular to focus on them.
“What?” you say. “No marital communication techniques?” “That sounds like heresy!”
Think about it. Biblical marital advice is limited: “Wives respect your husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22) Husbands, love your wives. (Ephesians 5:25) Similar advice is given in I Peter 3:1 and 7) Implement these two strategies and we guarantee your communication will improve.
Other advice is not marriage-specific, but when applied to your marriage will definitely enhance communication:
“Don’t return evil for evil, but give a blessing instead.” (I Peter 3:9)
“Whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy—dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8).
“. . . with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:2-4)
Notice that Biblical advice does not deal with the expression of your words. It deals with the condition of your heart. Repeating back what you heard your spouse say to you to make sure you understood correctly may not be a bad idea. Giving both parties time to be heard is a good practice. But communication techniques merely scratch the surface. The Bible goes deeper and helps us correct the root of the problem and implement a lasting solution. For better communication with your spouse—start with your heart.
