To build strong relationships, get rid of self-focus. Instead, focus on the needs of the other person. Paul says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV) Colossians 3:12-17 tells us: “. . . put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility and gentleness.” Refuse to accept accusations or hurtful remarks on a personal level.
When I focus on an unkind comment, I can get angry and bitter. This prevents me from focusing on the needs of the person who made the offensive comment. They may forget what they said, not think it’s offensive or not think it’s a big deal. When I refuse to dwell on myself, I can focus on the other person’s hurt, pain, and needs and speak life to them. Get rid of self-focus to begin to build strong relationships. (Bob)