In Connecting with Your Partner, Featured, The Marriage Dance Book, The Marriage Dance Seminar, Time to Make Your Marriage Dance, Wounds

What would you do if your spouse came to you and confided a deep, dark secret — a past sin, a stupid decision, or something that had hurt them deeply? What would you say?

It would be a risk on their part to tell you. It would also be an implied invitation into deeper relationship with you. What is a good response to such an invitation?

First, listen carefully. Don’t judge, dismiss their feelings, or immediately try to fix the problem. Don’t turn the conversation into something about you. Try to understand the situation or problem and why it still bothers your spouse.

If you ask a question, let it be to clarify or draw them farther out: “You must have been really frightened. Does it still affect you?”

Reassure them of God’s unconditional love: “If you are truly sorry, you know God will forgive you completely.”

Reassure them of your love: “If God forgives you, I can too.”

Being a safe haven for the secrets of your spouse’s heart brings ever-increasing levels of emotional intimacy.

Both The Marriage Dance seminar and workshop allow you to see a live demonstration of how to speak to your spouse’s heart. If you would be open to a conversation about scheduling The Marriage Dance seminar at your church, click here. Our recently published companion workbook accompanies our seminars, as well.

This post was originally published on February 11, 2016.

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