We are different than our spouse. It is amazing how naïve we were when we got married and we thought we were so similar. We are not. And you know what? God made us different on purpose. He is the God of creativity.
As a mediator, I like to come up with creative solutions to avoid disputes. Let’s consider an example: Should your children be homeschooled or sent to public education?
Have a thorough discussion with your spouse. Since God made spouses different on purpose, discover the wisdom that God has given to your mate and incorporate that perspective.
Pray and get God’s input. If you are not willing to pray, ask yourself if your mind is already made up no matter what God’s opinion is. I marvel at God’s creativity. The Bible and the Holy Spirit are the best two illuminators of God’s wisdom and you should become an expert in both sources. Wise Christians can also be a good source.
Get the facts.
If it is homeschooled versus public education discussion, who will the teacher be this year and what curriculum are they using right now? What is best for your child this year? What are the problems facing your child and how can you best avoid them? Will your spiritual input into your child counter any hostile, outside spiritual sources? If so, how can you supplement your sources to make sure your child will prosper? What are the academics? What is the spiritual atmosphere? Is the church providing sufficient resources to supplement spiritual challenges? Can you supplement any lack of academics? Are you capable of homeschooling? Is there a charter school solution? What is the financial situation?
Keep asking questions.
Keep thinking, keep praying, and learn to listen to the Holy Spirit’s direction. Solutions do present themselves. Develop a perspective of looking for God’s creativity. Evaluate every year to see if the situation changed.
When one of our daughters came home from school in 7th grade, we asked:
“Where’s your homework?”
“I did it at school.”
“Why is something called ‘homework’ done at school?”
She said: “The teacher gave us a half hour to find China on the map. I knew where it was so I did my homework while the other kids were finding China.” Roxann and I soon discovered that the school had adopted an “experimental method of education” that year which was unacceptable to us. But we were unprepared and the school year had already started.
Get creative.
How could we be creative in this situation? First, we discussed the problem and really listened to each other. Then, we prayed and tried to listen to God. Third, we looked at our options. We couldn’t transfer to another traditional public school because the transfer window had closed. The Christian school was on the other side of town and would have meant hours of chauffeuring every day for Roxann. At the time, we did not consider traditional homeschooling.
It turned out that a new on-line internet school had just started that year. The child went to school from home on the internet. The school would do all the technical work connecting the computers. Our daughter would even get an education on the use of the computer. She could change in the middle of the term without any loss of academic credit. Between the two of us, my wife and I could still cover most answers to 7th and 8th grade questions, so we put her into the school for junior high school.
It was a creative solution, and it turned out to be acceptable. She lost no credit, got into the best academic program in high school, learned more than she would have learned in the “experimental method of education”, and she was creative herself in pursuing her social interests. It worked out well even though we had no idea what to do when handed an unacceptable but immediate challenge.
Look for the creative. God is the master of creativity. Give Him a chance. He loves these situations.
