Seventy-three years of marriage!
No, not Bob and me. George-the-Dad and Barbara Bush. It ended last week with Barbara’s passing. She is one of my favorite First Ladies and it seemed fitting to dedicate this post to her—not because she was First Lady, but because of who she was as a wife and mother. I think there is much to learn from how she lived her life.
Mutual Adoration
My impression of Barbara Bush is that she knew who she was and was comfortable with it. When asked why she always wore a strand of pearls, she laughed and said, “To hide the wrinkles.” I remember when George first ran for President. He was a good-looking man. Barbara was a bit heavier than a Hollywood starlet and had white hair. Advisors told George he should tell her to lose weight and dye her hair. He told them Barbara was his Silver Fox. He not only accepted her for who she was—he adored her.
Mutual Respect
I didn’t agree with Barbara on everything. She was pro-choice. I, most certainly, am not. Neither was George. As he conducted his Presidential campaign with a base of Christian conservatives, he was advised to “shush” her—tell her not to speak on this controversial subject. But he didn’t. He gave her the freedom to have an opinion, to speak her mind, to be her. It is evidence that he respected her and that their relationship was strong.
Work as a Team
George and Barbara worked together as a team. They pulled together in situations that tear other couples apart. When their three-year-old daughter Robin was diagnosed with leukemia, George dealt with his sorrow by stopping at a church every morning to pray for her. Barbara took Robin cross-country for the painful bone marrow treatments. Barbara was the strong one. But when little Robin died, Barbara fell apart and George was the strong one who held her up. The loss of a child is the death knell for many marriages. It drew George and Barbara together.
Family is Everything
I love the family portrait of George and Barbara in their king-size bed with all the grandkids in bed with them. Barbara was a fierce and loving mom and grandma. She supported her kids and grandkids. She challenged them. She protected them. She chewed them out when they needed it. But woe be to the person who said anything bad about them.
Keep Marriage Sacred
I clearly remember an item on the evening news. During a media Q&A session, a reporter questioned George Bush about rumors of an adulterous affair with one of his aides. His response was not a weak, “I did not have sex with that woman,” or, “I can’t remember,” or even, “What difference does a person’s personal life make on his ability to function in office?” His response was clear, authentic outrage: “How dare you!” To me, it was a declaration of the sacredness of his and Barbara’s relationship.
I liked her as a First Lady. I loved her in her role as First Wife, First Mom, First Grandma. Rest in peace, Barbara Bush. Congratulations on 73 years of marriage done well.
*Photo by Esther on Flickr.
