In Featured, Relationship with God, Thoughts from Roxann, Time to Make Your Marriage Dance, Wounds

I believe lies? Why would I believe a lie? How do I know if I believe a lie? Because if I knew it was a lie I wouldn’t believe it. And besides, what does this have to do with my marriage?

Indulge me for a moment and I’ll show you. This is the first of a three-part series:

  • Part 1 – Common Lies We Believe
  • Part 2 – How the Lies Damage Your Marriage
  • Part 3 – How to Identify and Renounce Your Lies for a Stronger Marriage

Part 1 – Common Lies We Believe

I remember a day when I was 15. Something exciting had happened at school and I couldn’t wait to share it. At dinner that night, I began sharing the day’s event. But, alas, a couple of sentences in, my dad discovered an item that wasn’t on the dinner table and my mom went into the kitchen after it. When she got back, I started at the beginning of the story, but another distraction interrupted my story.  Again, I waited and then started back at the beginning. The scenario repeated itself several more times. I was hurt that no one wanted to hear my story—that everything else was more important. After starting over about five times, I “flipped a switch.” Eventually, my mother got everyone settled down and asked what I’d been saying, but it was too late. I didn’t want to tell the story anymore. The sad thing was that I’d vowed to myself that I would not subject myself to their hurt anymore. That was the self-protective strategy I came up with.

The dinner table incident was not a one-time occurrence. It was representative of many similar occurrences in my family. It was the way life was—or so it seemed to me. I came to believe that no one wanted to listen to me. No one cared what I thought. Why bother to share my thoughts or life experiences at all?

That is a lot of wrong thinking and, next week, we will look at why it is wrong and how it ultimately affected my marriage. But, from the moment I began believing the lie, it began damaging all my relationships. For now, let’s look at some lies people often believe. You’ll find a brief list below. Ask God to show you if you believe any of them. Put a check-mark next to the lie if it is something you believe at a heart-level. Ask Him to show you when and why you first started believing it. You know it is a lie if it contradicts something God tells you in His Word.

List of Lies

  • I am unloved.
  • This situation is hopeless.
  • It is up to me to protect myself.
  • I do not have what it takes to succeed.
  • I am a bother.
  • I need to keep my opinions to myself.
  • God withholds good things from me so I need to provide them for myself.
  • I am only a valuable human being if I am being useful.
  • I must keep striving to attain everything I need.
  • God is to blame for something bad that happened in my life.
  • God was unwilling to help me fix a tough situation.
  • God is punishing me.

As I said, it will take a few weeks to develop this topic. Spend some time this week letting God direct your thoughts on this topic. I believe it will be of significant help in making your marriage “dance.”

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