Marriage tips are worthless—unless you implement them. You have read about the difference between men’s and women’s brains. As a general rule, men focus on one thing at a time; women keep multiple thoughts and tasks going all at once. That difference can cause misunderstandings and disharmony with your spouse. Often, wives get irritated or frustrated when their husbands aren’t forthcoming with information. To a wife, it feels like her husband is holding out on her or that he doesn’t want to take the time for her.
Pastor Dan Stipp of Lake Gregory Community Church is our guest blogger this week. He does a good job of explaining how men’s minds work. He writes of a recent incident in his own life where his wife was requesting information that was now locked away in a different compartment in his brain.
Pastor Dan’s Story
Just this morning, Cindy asked me about the practical take-away items decided on in a meeting the night before. I had already been up for an hour, spent time with Jesus and in the Scripture, had reflected on how I felt God was shaping a message series being planned, and was mentally preparing for a breakfast meeting on another topic with someone. I had to get the garbage out and go to the meeting.
I could only remember the first take away. My mind was blank. It was ancient history, already in a file of to do’s that wouldn’t be looked at until next week. I have to compartmentalize to thrive in everything that goes on. My mind (and sanity) just won’t let me keep in my current “open windows” a meeting from the night before.
I could tell she was a little annoyed by my side-stepping the question, but said we could talk about it later. As I finished getting the garbage out, my mind turned to last night… and then, I remembered! I still had to get out the door, but I went back upstairs and quickly gave her a summary of the other items concluded from the meeting. She was grateful, and we both laughed at my one focus at a time limitation/gift! We are navigating these awkward moments better and better. At least, now we can laugh.
Thank you, Pastor Dan, for sharing with us. We are glad for your understanding of what was taking place, for taking the extra few moments to care about your wife’s heart, and for the ability to turn what could have made for hard feelings into something you could both laugh at.
The photo in this article is of our beautiful daughter and son-in-law. Thank you to Jessica Williams and Samanthakait Photography for permission to use it.