In Connecting with Your Partner, Featured, Level of Marriage Relationship, Thoughts from Roxann, Time to Make Your Marriage Dance

Bob and I took our grandson to play laser tag. Spencer is 11. He’s a smart, experienced laser tag sharpshooter and he’s a fast mover. I am none of the above. When the boys on the opposing team locate me, I’m dead meat. No charge left. No remaining shots. No points. Bob is better than I am. He’s not as fast as Spencer, but he can hustle and climb the ramps. Clearly, we needed a strategy if we wanted to avoid being crushed.

This was the strategy: After each re-charge, I made a bee-line for the other team’s base. Bob and Spencer protected me, taking out assailants along the way. Once at the base, I stood under their target and wracked up 200 points per shot. Three times I was the high scorer for the game.

Here’s What I Learned Playing Laser Tag

  1. We did better as a team than any one of us could have done individually.
  2. Without Bob and Spencer’s protection, I could not have been effective in accomplishing what I did.
  3. Even though I looked like the star with far more points than the other players, we all knew it was because Bob and Spencer were willing to assume the less glamorous, supportive positions that were vital to accomplishing our mission.

Isn’t that the way it works in marriage too? When you and your spouse use your differing strengths to work together as a team, you are far more successful than when you are working individually or pulling in opposite directions. When Bob and I go on vacation, he does the long-range planning. He buys the plane tickets, books the hotels, rents the car. I take care of the myriad details than enable us to get out the door. It wouldn’t work if we switched positions. We would not be effective each doing our own thing. But together, we get the job done.

Carry Your Share…and More

Sometimes we need to hold up more than our fair share of the load in order to let our spouse complete a project or make it through a difficult season. When I had major surgery many years ago, Bob was at the office from 8 until 5. Then he came home, shopped for groceries and did laundry. I know he was tired, but he did it anyway. Marriage is not 50-50. You do what is necessary.

And, while one spouse may stand in the limelight and get the glory, everyone knows they wouldn’t be there without someone providing “the wind beneath their wings.” I think of my friend who herded children every Sunday morning and drove them to church by herself to enable her husband to use his talents in playing with the worship band. She willingly played the less glamorous supporting role.

When we stand before God, what will be most important? That we got the “most points” or the accolades or that we accomplished the mission by fulfilling the service God gave us to do?

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