I first met her at church when I was in high school. Her name was Joyce. She and her retired Air Force colonel husband were my parents’ friends.
I thought I was a social misfit. Put me at a party and I didn’t know how to dress, what to say, or what to do. Except when I was by myself, with my family or with my friends, I felt socially awkward.
Joyce had the social graces I lacked. I watched her. She was 30 years older than I was, but she had grace. She was pretty, dressed elegantly, her jewelry sparkled and her hair was styled, but I was attracted to her comfortability in social settings.
No matter what group she was in, Joyce was inclusive and gracious. She wasn’t afraid to talk to people and always knew what to say. I was and didn’t. But I watched and listened. She was optimistic and positive. Her conversation was intelligent and gracious. She knew which fork to use. I never remember hearing a biting or negative word from her mouth.
Joyce didn’t try to change me. She just did. It wasn’t anything specific she said or did. In fact, we didn’t even talk much. It was her example. I knew I needed what she had. Her gracious spirit gave me hope that one day I could learn to be gracious with people too. Maybe I could learn what to do and say at a party by watching her. When I think of her grace, I think of two passages:
Peter talks about women who bring their unbelieving husbands to God—not by what they say—but by their chaste and respectful behavior. Their adornment is the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. (I Peter 3:1-4)
Colossians 4:6 says our speech should always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
Recently, I was inspired by another woman. Her name is Stephanie Gray and she is 30 years my junior. She gave an outstanding 50-minute defense of the Pro-Life position to an audience at Google. The video is on YouTube. She inspired others as well. So far, it has over 66,000 views.
While abortion is one of the most controversial topics and Google employees are not known for being a pro-life audience, she asked thoughtful questions. She was young but demanded respect by the manner of her appearance and presentation. The questions she asked the audience were to the point and made them think. She made a sophisticated argument without being offensive. On the contrary, it was her winsomeness just as much as her logic that made her argument persuasive. She was also willing to answer questions knowing that some of them might be intentionally tough. But she always remained gracious.
Women have power over men that they may not know. And I am not talking about sexual power. It’s not the ones that seek to promote themselves or that our culturally defective society promotes. I’m talking about a soft, perceptive, giving, inclusive grace.
Ladies, how might you inspire your husband through the example of your grace?
