When a wife is trying to follow, a good husband is more likely to give a confident lead. Marriage works best when it's more beautiful waltz than tug-of-war.
Are you involved in a marriage class or group? What might God do for your marriage and your children if you dedicated yourself to pursuing Him in this area?
A bridegroom coming for his bride is a picture of God coming for us. God invaded the world with Jesus' birth to come for us. Have you accepted his offer?
When a man is unclear, his wife might want to step into the void and take control. Practice the steps. The more you learn, the more confident you become.
Do you see couples who have a marriage that makes you want to strive for better in your own marriage? Do others see your marriage and want to emulate it?